I’ve seen several posts recently about people choosing a word for the year, something to inspire or remind. I decided that it might be a good idea for me to choose one, because I feel like I need a little extra something this year to give me a push. I thought about what it is that I want to accomplish this year, and what is important to me right now, and one of the first words that came to mind was “aspire”.
If I’m honest with myself, like really honest, I feel like lately I haven’t been living up to my potential. I think overall I’m a decent member of society: I have a job, I pay taxes, I donate to charities. However, I feel like a lot of the drive and ambition that I think I used to have has been diminished over the last few years.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who felt all full of promise and great things to come when I was just starting college. I didn’t realize it at the time, but life was soooo easy then. I really didn’t have much to worry about in those days, other than getting assignments done on time and making it to class each day. I took a general year my first year at college and after that I got accepted into a 3 year advanced diploma course at the same school. When I first started, 3 years seemed like forever. That was so much time to figure out a game plan, graduate with awesome grades and get a really well paying job right away. Enter reality. The only part of that equation that I managed to succeed at was the grades part. I did get a job fairly quickly after graduating, and it paid more to start than a lot of other jobs that I could have gotten, but somewhere along the way I just kind of started going through the motions and stopped actively planning for my future.
I’m sure everyone’s been in the same boat. It becomes difficult once you finish school and start working because now you have real bills to pay, like a real adult. It was so easy for me to just coast along, doing ok but not really aspiring toward anything bigger. Now I’ve been done school for about four and a half years and have been at my job for just over four years. I worked an 8 month full time contract in 2011, but government cutbacks meant agency cutbacks and back to part time I went. It’s been kind of a struggle since then…financially and mentally and emotionally as well. I’ve had many frustrating days where it felt like I’ve put in so much time, effort and money to get an education and work towards a full time position, but it just hasn’t happened.
Now don’t get me wrong, I know that I’m in a much better position than so many other people. I am truly grateful for the things that I do have: a wonderful partner who supports me through my ups and downs, amazing parents who I know will do whatever they can to help me out, a beautiful home to live in and I am employed. That’s much more than a lot of people have right now, so I’m not trying to moan and complain about my situation. What I’m trying to say through my rambles is that although I feel blessed in many areas of my life, I also know that there are things that I can do better. I have aspirations, and goals that I want to achieve, and now seems like a great time to start.
So, in 2013 I am determined that I will aspire and do my very best to work on achieving the things that I set out for myself. I will aspire toward bettering my employment situation (if that means working 2 part time jobs to bring in more income, than so be it). I will aspire toward being a better partner and really making sure that Ryan knows how much I love and appreciate him. I will aspire toward being healthier, having more energy and more fun in my life. Lastly, I will aspire toward turning my creativity into something profitable. I’ve been thinking about the idea of having my own business for a while, something that I could do from home in my spare time. I haven’t really nailed down exactly what it is that I want to do, but I feel like starting something and working towards making it successful (if only in a small way) would help me be more confident in myself in general. I know that I have talent in something, so I need to figure out what it is and do something with it :)